Single momma...

living in tough times...

2009-04-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

my boyfriend loooooves to NOT spend money...he isnt above splurging...but he is definately not into material possesions...i think he owns 1 pair of shoes, and his army boots, and a couple shirts and shorts...all he basically has known is uniforms..from grade school to high school (had some freedom in college) then joined the millitary..and i ramble ...the point is..im REALLY REALLY trying to get on the band wagon... I really enjoy dining out occasionally...and we have decided to take advantage of the Restaurant.com coupons...there really is a great selection all around Indiana...you can get a 25 dollar gift certificate for 2 dollars...we had to spend 35 dollars and 18% gratuity was added before the bill...you just need to check it out yourself...right now if you use it..just type in LUCKY for the coupon part when checking out..sign up today...ok..anyway...
I've also been checking out the sales for Kroger and buy in baulk at Sams Club...so im working on! i've been trying to downsize my closet and shoes...and did so and now im lettin go of them and givin it to a family in need...

the chef in me

2009-04-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have been in heaven lately...i have found the most satisfying hobby ever..cooking...the kind of cooking from the soul. I am an extremely creative person, i have an art degree ya know...so my head just spins all day with possibilities. I only cook on Tuesday, Friday, some saturdays and Sunday evenings...and i just go at it...from scratch...and as much fresh ingredients as can be found in Indiana...and organic is important...taste is important..presentation..not so important...my mom recently has been told that she has high cholesterol so i decided to make her homemade spaghetti and meatballs. I made the meatball with bison, lamb, sundried tomatoes (diced finely), fennel seeds (cause they are good for us ladies), diced onion, salt, pepper and instant mashed potatoes (acts as a binder i cant use eggs because kids are allergic) you can also use oats but i didnt have any at the time...so there are my meatballs...the sauce canned diced tomatoes, one roma tomatoe diced, brown sugar, fresh garlic, a dry pesto mix and that was about it..i dont measure anything...but i am constantly tasting until i like it....

i love food and i love going out to eat to try different foods to get my ideas...cookbooks, cooking shows..all the get ideas, i never follow a recipe, i just follow ideas from other people...all the ingredients i used, the ammount and everything was perfect on my pallet..and luckily on everyone elses too!
going to chicago this weekend to see the cubs play and are eating at what looks like a great Irish Bistro...its called Mrs. Murphy and sons Irish Bistro...mmmm, excellent beer selection , it will blow you away...

smoking...

2009-03-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

My goal was and still is to quit Cold Turkey...I had one cigarrette yesterday, so i start over, right?! i know, its gross. I definately want to be done with it before my kids start to catch on. I think about all the anti-aging creams that are out there, how much money we spend to be healthy, searching for the right product...when , well maybe it would be as simple as drinking lots of water, wearing sunscreen, exercising...detoxing..Why is it so hard, why are we constantly battling weight, wrinkles, depression. Why does the simple solution have to be so difficult. How much control do we have over our urges. Why dont we try harder to stop them? I dont have the answers. I know that I've done a lot of damage to my body..drugs, alcohol, depression, even sun exposure. At the time i knew the consequences of it all, and i chose to ignore them. Perhaps it was the self loathing I had, the complete disrespect i had for myself and others. I cant turn back time, but i can continue to heal. Taking each day...one day at a time...Its time to take some responsibility. I can only blame my past for so much. How about taking in the present, and realizing that its precious...and i ramble...i havent' smoked today...day one, a lifetime to go!

smoking

2009-03-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Im not sure my kids know i smoke. I never do it around them, but, well, most of the time kids know more than we think. I started again a few months after giving birth...and i've been on and off "the wagon" a number of times. i justify each cigarrette with "im stressed" or "im drinking." Those are my triggers. My target date is March 19th, my moms birthday! She is a smoker, and i really want her to quit. I need to really focus on me...and what is best for me. Im doing so many things right, i eat pretty healthy, im active, i go to church, i work..i dont cuss , i rarely cuss, well, i dont cuss around my kids! But smoking kinda cancels all that good stuff out. You cant go half way...im not being a good role model for my kids... i need to step up. I have people that are supporting me, so cheer me on as i take my last puffs and butt out on March 19th.

More than corn in Indiana

2009-03-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

Im determined to let people know there ARE things to do in Indiana. There are things to do EVERYWHERE...you really just have to put yourself out there and have the right mindset. I plan to keep my life simple and fullfilling, without costing a lot of money. Sooo the first thing done, was to buy a year pass to the Childrens museum. I have work off every friday, so off we will go, with a packed lunch...and fun times ahead. Check out this weekends activities. Friday, childrens museum. Saturday, the Tipton Library is having a blue grass band come and play and they are serving up ham and beans, and sweet potato pie...yummy, the kids will love letting loose to some music. Sunday, church at 8am..and then...are you ready for this...The Maple Syrup Festival in Medora Indiana. Its around bloomington. Here check it out http://www.nationalmaplesyrupfestival.com/Articles.asp?ID=144. My kids godfather works for the Examiner and writes reviews on plays and such, so he treated me to the IRT where i saw Ladies Man. I highly recommend it, the second scene is hilariously funny. I will be sure to update you on the weekends events..post pictures of our excursion. It should be loads of fun!

aidan...

2009-02-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

after every test known to man done to my son aidan..results have been inconclusive. He just had the final test done before we make plans to go to a genetic clinic in Bethesda MD. He had a muslce biopsy done...the results came back NORMAL. It brought me mixed feelings...i was relieved, but at the same time am ready to know what kind of battle we will be facing. Right now we are just going forward blindly! He has an unknown disease that affects his ability to walk and has difficulty with fine motor skills...He is behind on his speech but is quickly getting caught up with therapy. He has an unbelievable spirit, pretty mellow little guy! I pray for some answers soon, but until then, we will continue to stay positive and give him a loving life...

definition of single mom

2009-02-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

For a time, i thought, i must be the singlest mom...its the whole whoa is me factor...you know, not dating, the babys father ZERO role in the kids life...Then the father started paying child support, and i felt less single. Oh, and when mothers would call themselves "single mothers" when the kids split time with their ex- I was like "where is MY everyother weekend" THAT isnt single. Then i started to think, well, was I really all THAT single from the beginning. I had so much help in the community, im sure there are mothers with zero help..period! The truth is....where i was at...i faired better playing the victim. I was no where NEAR close to the top of the game...where is the attention for being in the middle...if you cant be the best, might as well, be the worst (oh, pooor poor you, i nod and frown with my eyes popped opened big) But, you know what...look at me now..So, here I am...average. Im no ones hero, Im not working 3 jobs, going to school Full time etc. (Except, maybe my kids hero..and thats okay with me.) Im working 27.5 hours a week, taking care of my kids (one special needs), getting an amazing amount of support from the "universe"...Sorry, I dont take on more than i can handle. I know how to say NO. Perhaps i even take less than i can handle...No poor me anymore, Pick another hobby people..im not it...things are average here..just average.